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I'm currently sitting in my living room waiting for this guy to come over for a booty call. Considering I requested said booty in the middle of the afternoon, I guess this is more of a "dick appointment"…. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call this guy Big Hot, because he's really tall and really hot. We've gone on two dates and hooked up once, so Big Hot is still acquainted with the exfoliated and hairless me that exists only in the early stages of dating and penetration. He cannot know that I'm really a barn animal in a wig and Forever 21 lounge pants, so this morning I took the proper measures to maintain the illusion of being a hot girl. Being a girl is stressful because our bodies have so many lumps and flaps and holes.
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7 weird things that turn women on

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7 weird things that turn women on | myforestvoices.com

The question of what women want has been baffling people for years. Many books, papers, irate blogs, pick-up artist seminars, films, art, and music have been devoted to this pressing topic, each one seeming to contradict the last. If we are to believe fan fiction erotica involving characters from books, TV and movies , which is primarily written by women, women want to see Severus Snape from Harry Potter get it on with a Teletubby. Predictably, science has stepped in to provide some more concrete answers than those involving pastries or fuzzy aliens. The following studies set out to discover what turns women on.
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Women Jokes

No matter how fun the sex was, cleaning up after having a romp in the sack can be a real drag. There is nothing more annoying than a giant semen stain in the center of your mattress, or period blood splattered over your sheets like a crime scene. What in the heck are you supposed to do about these stains? How do you wash them? What products do you use?
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Q: How do you blind a woman? A: You put a windshield in front of her. Q: Why are women like clouds? A: Eventually they go away and its a nice day. Q: What is loud and obnoxious?
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Comments
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    very nice in public :)
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    You can use my tooth-brush in your mouth any time
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